Heyyy Y’all! Posh Africana’s epic end of summer sale is starting tomorrow with 20% off of purchases of at least $80 when you enter code SAVE at checkout and 30% off of purchases of $100 or more when you enter code SAVEMORE at checkout (shop here). I wrote this guide to help you get the very best out of the sale with a few of my favorite picks:
After losing my mother in 2017, Mother’s Day became complicated for me. One of the stylists at my hair salon recently recounted her experience after losing her mom, and her words resonated with me. She said that initially, Mother’s Day was extremely painful for her after losing her mom, because it hurt to see so many other people, some much older than her, still being able to enjoy time with their mothers. This was the case for me up until last year, which was the first time that Mother could honestly say I felt happy on Mother’s Day.
I love the holidays, especially Christmas but for those of us who have lost close loved ones, I know that it can be a difficult time so I wanted to share my story about grief and the importance of holding on for brighter days.
When my mother first passed in January 2017, one the main things I prayed for was to be able to communicate with her through dreams. I took a while before I had any dreams about her, which frustrated me because I was struggling with not being able to talk to her everyday, especially about all of the important decisions that needed to be made after her death.
Finally, about three months after her passing I had a very vivid dream about going to pick my mother up for a doctor’s appointment. When she was alive, she always complained about me being late. So in the dream, I was intentional about getting to her place early so that we’d have more that enough time to arrive at her appointment ahead of schedule. I drove to her apartment in Houston, and drove through the open gate into the complex, which looked the same as it always had, but as I continued down the road the environment changed.
The parking lot shifted into a long black pavement driveway, which was lined with manicured bushes and the driveway seemed to wind on and on through a very large lush green lawn until a reached a white building that looked like a mansion on a hill. The strange thing was, went I arrived, I didn’t question whether I had gone to the wrong location somehow or why her apartment looked different. I do remember telling my mom that the place was very nice but aside from that I was just very insistent that I had come to pick her up and take her to this appointment with me. I remember being anxious and in a rush that we leave and arrive at the appointment on time.
My mother on the other hand was not ready to leave at all, which is so unlike her. As I said before, usually I’m late or arriving with just enough time to make it to our destination exactly on time (which annoyed my mother just as much as being late), and she is usually already dressed and ready just waiting on me to leave. But this time she was making every excuse as to why she couldn’t leave. First she said she wasn’t dressed. I vaguely remember telling her that what she was wearing was fine. When she insisted it wasn’t, I went into her closet and I remember being pleasantly surprised at how large it was and I also complimented her on some of the clothes she had hanging up. The closet in her apartment in Houston was large enough to walk into, but it wasn’t as grand as this one. I remember snatching some items off of the hangers in haste and trying to convince my mom that we would miss the appointment entirely if she didn’t leave with me, but she kept finding excuses until the dream ended.
When I woke up, my focus was on the fact that we were having a disagreement in the dream, which made me sad and worried that she may be angry or disappointed with me. Looking back now, I believe that because I had this dream when I was down in a deep level of grief, I wasn’t able to understand that my mother invited me to her heavenly home to show me that I didn’t have to worry about her any more, that she was in a good place and that she was at peace there. She was trying to encourage me to be at peace with her remaining there. If you are still reading, please understand that at the point that I had this dream, I was in deep distress. I was about eight months pregnant, I was struggling with the idea that my child would never know her grandmother who was the closest person to me and the only consistent family that I’ve had throughout my life. I was also afraid to have a child without my mother around because I had always thought I would be able to go to her for advice and guidance. If you are deep in the midst of grief right now, I want to encourage you that you have every right to feel every emotion that you are experiencing. Your grief doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s but I want to encourage you that if you hold on and have faith through the dark times, the pain will ease and better days are ahead. My mother and I loved each other out loud, we would go to any extent for each other, but the Bible says that unless the Lord is watching over the city, the watchman who stays up all night to watch over it will do so in vain, Psalm 127. As much as we care about our loved ones, we can never love or care for them better than God does. Our culture praises the living and despises death, but death is a part of our life cycle. Each of us will go through it one day. If we maintain the faith that our loved ones will live a better life in Christ Jesus after death, that he has prepared a place for them ( a beautiful one as God revealed to me by taking me to see my mom in my dream) then even in the pain of separation, we can be consoled that they are in a much better place in heaven than they could ever be here on earth. If you are in a period of deep grief now, my prayer for you is that you take the time you need to feel and express your grief in a healthy way and that you keep the faith that your loved one is in the loving hands of God, with no more pain or worries and that they are being cared for in a way that exceeds anything that we could do for them on earth. May God console you until you are able to find peace with this period of separation from the ones that you love.
Thanks for reading. XO
Adire/Aso-Oke Kimono - Aeymoda, available via the Posh Up
Pants - old, find similar here FeNoel
Top - Target Future Collective, Reese Blutstein
Earrings - Raya Jewelry, available via the Posh Up
Glasses - Loewe, old
Boots - Sam Edelman via the Outnet
One of the things that stresses me out the most about adulting is that everything is important. When I would get overwhelmed as a high school student, for instance, I’d simply slack off on the unimportant things and focus my efforts on rmy most urgent priorities at the moment. If I had exams coming up, I would take off of my weekend job, skip track practice and focus on studying, But as an adult, you cant pass on any of your responsibilities no matter how hectic things get. If I have a huge deadline to meet at work, I can’t just skip pickling up my kids, or cooking them dinner or meeting my other life obligations.
Lately, however, I’ve been trying to look at the bright side of learning that every detail matters. The small things in life really are as important as the big things. Small things that bring you joy such as a fresh cup of good coffee, feeling super confident after donning a well put-together outfit or even the laughs you get from watching your favorite TV show are all very important to your happiness and well-being.
I was so pleased with the way this outfit came together that even looking back on the pictures brought me so much joy! I love love love these Fe Noel Pants and I couldn’t be happier with how well this Adire scarf works as a top. I met up with my cousin in this fit and she swooned over the entire fit and that was just icing on the cake. I stalked these pants for months before purchasing them and a really kind boutique owner rush shipped them to me just in time for my 40th birthday trip. Every time I wore them I felt like the only girl in the room.
As a child, I never knew about careers like styling, buying or curating and I was made to believe that only jobs in the hard sciences, medicine, banking or law were important. I’m not knocking those professions by any means but designing a piece of clothing that makes a person feel elated to wear it is just as important. The things that bring us joy or make us feel confident are always important, no matter how trivial we previously believed them to be.
Top - Adire Pashmina Scarf worn as a top
Pants - Fe Noel via Harper & Hartford Boutique, sold out but try the shorts
Glasses - Juxtamod Luxwear
Hat - Old, Forever 21
My friend is as crazy as they come but her wisdom cannot be denied. Its impossible for you to avoid all of your enemies. In fact, some of your closest friends and family will allow jealously to enter their hearts and make enemies out of them. The good news is, you don’t have to expend any energy fighting them, avoiding them or even convincing them that their enmity is wrong, just keep calm and wait on God to anoint you with that oil!
What would you do if you knew that you were free? This is the symbolic question that Juneteenth presents for me. Juneteenth, commonly known as “Freedom Day” or “Jubilee Day,” commemorates June 19, 1865, or the day that slaves in Texas (considered the last of enslaved Black Americans) received news that the Confederate Army had been defeated, and that as a result they were now free. This news came over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed in January 1863, which stated that slaves in the ‘rebellious states’ were free, and about six months after the 13th amendment was passed which abolished slavery throughout the United States and its territories.
So in reality, by the time that the slaves received this news they had been free long ago. It is my belief that all men and women are born free. Despite the various yokes that we may suffer in life, I believe that God gives us the ability to live out our purpose and our passions and change not only our own lives, but the lives of others. Surely this belief must have been what drove people like Harriet Tubman to defy all of the various laws, slave catchers, slave masters and other obstacles set in her path so that she could lead herself and others to liberty. So in this spirit, I ask you to consider what you would do if you knew that you were truly free from the things that once bound you? Maybe you were born into poverty, or suffer from a debilitating illness or have difficult family circumstances, but imagine how much you can do and how far you could go if you knew that you were could no longer be bound by what you’ve been through before. Happy Juneteenth Everybody. In celebration of this day take 25% off the entire site using code: JUNETEENTH at checkout.
Our take on cozy, comfortable holiday outfit ideas that don’t compromise on glam!
Hello friends! Thank you to all of you who have shopped the Black Friday sale and those who shopped in person with us during Blk Ass Flea Market. I wanted to share an edit of what I believe are some of the best pieces to snag during the Black Friday sale for their versatility and incredible value at sale prices. Make sure you snag one of these pieces for yourself or tell a friend to tell a friend that they can score these awesome pieces at 30% off until 11:59 pm on Cyber Monday when you use code BUYBLACK at checkout.
I mean the dress does the talking. While this piece is not for the bashful, the girls who aren’t afraid to show up will have a great time every time they step out in this piece. It is also available in a peach color. Add it to your closet and anticipate the good times sis!
This dress is simple, elegant and sexy with bomb details! It’s a perfect day to night piece because it can be office appropriate and also great for cocktails, a date or dinner. It is extremely well made with flirty asymmetrical neck and hemlines. The fabric of the dress is thick enough to be appropriate for cold winter days and I only have four pieces in stock so you can trust that you won’t look like any other girl in the room. As you know every piece I stock is made in West Africa by African brands so you never have to worry about seeing your style on Shein or Aliexpress.
You can’t beat the versatility of a Shirtdress. Depending on your styling choices you can take it from sporty to sexy and this piece is particularly unique because it’s composed of hand-dyed Swiss voile that will not be remade so there are only three pieces of it in the world! Talk about being that girl! Don’t miss out on this piece at an incredible price.
Make sure to snag these pieces and more at 30% off until 11:59 pm on Cyber Monday when you use code BUYBLACK at checkout.
Do cozy different this year and shop one of our comfy, cool and unique two piece sets which will all be included in our black Friday-Cyber Monday sales. In addition to our black Friday, in person, pop up from 11am to 7pm we will also have a site-wide sale offering 30% off from 12:00am on black Friday to 11:59pm on cyber Monday when you use the code “BUYBLACK” at check out. Our in person pop up will be on Friday 11/25 at Baltimore Unity Hall, 1505 Eutaw Pl., Baltimore, MD 21217 from 11am to 7pm. Come see us whether in person or online to add these one-of-a-kind pieces to your wardrobe at a great deal!
I recently celebrated three years in business with Posh Africana. I’m so thankful to God for the vision, and to my family, friends and kind strangers who have supported me by attending my events, buying from me and engaging with my content. Thank you all so so much!
If I could go back and give myself advice, I’d tell myself that there’s no shame in starting small, a business that sells only one product consistently and serves their customers well is a successful business. And also, trust yourself. While you can and should seek advice from people you trust, look within yourself and to God first and above all. He gave you the vision and the courage to pursue it. The fact you continue to take concrete steps toward building that thing that currently only lives in your mind means that you know more about business than most of the people that you’re asking. Just go do it sis and when it gets hard, take a brief rest but don’t give up!
