I read a post on social media that started off by saying that Mother’s Day becomes complicated as we grow older. That may not be the case for everyone but it’s certainly true for me.
It’s not lost on me that I’m blessed to be able to say that my Mother’s Day celebrations started out normally. I had a loving mother in my life from the start to be able to give macaroni gifts to as a young child, and was further blessed to have her in my life until I was able to buy her nicer Mother’s Day gifts with my own money. More than that, I was blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with her as an adult, to get advice from her on navigating life as an adult and to laugh with her and experience her friendship.
After losing my mother in 2017, Mother’s Day became complicated for me. One of the stylists at my hair salon recently recounted her experience after losing her mom, and her words resonated with me. She said that initially, Mother’s Day was extremely painful for her after losing her mom, because it hurt to see so many other people, some much older than her, still being able to enjoy time with their mothers. This was the case for me up until last year, which was the first time that Mother could honestly say I felt happy on Mother’s Day.
Life is a cycle and the one certainty about life is that things will change. I have children of my own now, and when they see me cry in a moment of grief on Mother’s Day, I am instantly shaken out of my sadness by the look of confusion on their faces. It’s so ironic that they have never met or experienced the person for whom I am experiencing grief. It’s also ironic that they are excited and in complete joy about celebrating with me on Mother’s Day, while I am torn between grieving what I once had and being present to enjoy what I have now.
I certainly haven’t perfected the balance, and honestly I’m unsure that I ever will. What I do know is that we all deserve grace in dealing with the complexities of life and I hope that everyone, gives themselves grace as they navigate the complicated feelings that can come with Mother’s Day while also welcoming the various ways that people want to celebrate you. No matter where you may find yourself on the continuum of mother’s day experiences, trust and believe that there are people willing and waiting to celebrate with you. You just have to be open to experiencing the occasion in a different way than you may have hoped or imagined. Thanks for reading and please do take advantage of our sitewide 20% off Mother’s Day Sale which has been extended until 11:59pm tonight, May 19, 2024. Shop here, now.