Monday, August 16, 2021 marked the 40th day since my father passed. Im still processing this sad reality. We had a really sweet and long talk on father’s day (June 20, 2021) and everything seemed fine with him. I have never known my dad to be sick, other than a bad back that he developed from work. But a little over a week after that Father’s Day call he was too ill to hold a conversation with me and on July 7, 2021 he was gone.
My father had an amazing personality. He was magnetic. He loved to laugh, make jokes and was usually in good spirits. He was an incredible listener, very observant and I could always count on him for good advice. He loved to dress well, smell good and took great pride in his appearance. Best of all, he was so confident, it was like he had enough confidence for himself and some left over and he was always instilling confidence in those around him. There was no way that you could spend time with him and not end up feeling better about yourself. And I believe that this was the reason why people were always drawn to him, because he lifted people up, made them feel more important, more capable and generally made them feel better about themselves. If good energy was a person, it would be my dad.
I’m still in the part of grief where the memories are painful, even the good ones, because I just wasn’t prepared for the loss. But I have one memory that I’ve reflected on a lot is that of my dad taking me to a Holocaust memorial park in LA that was a popular place for skateboarding because of the paved hills. The first time I went there, he took my skates because I loved skating as a kid and when I saw the hills I was too afraid to go down them because I thought I would fall and skin my knees. I can still hear him now “come on Munje! You can do it Munje!” He kept talking me back to that park every summer that I would go visit him, until I was a teenager and no longer interested in skating, but I remember how much smaller those hills looked on subsequent visits. So many challenges that we are afraid to face in life are just a matter of perspective and support. Looking back, those hills were nothing at all. Even in the time that I was terrified of them, with Daddy’s encouragement, I took them on and never fell. Probably because he gave me confidence a) that I could do it successfully and b) that even if it looked like I would fall he was there to catch me.
Losing my Dad, means losing a big protective force in my life but I thank God for the lessons. I have the responsibility and obligation to be the encouraging and protective force for others around me and I will trust God that even though my Dad is no longer here with me, that God will always send my helpers wherever I may need them. I need not fear the hills, I can still overcome. I’m trusting that this memory is a reminder not to fear the challenges ahead of me and I hope that you find the strength and courage to take your challenges head on as well. There has been too much pain and difficulty in the past year, let us all find it within ourselves to be the encouragement for someone around us and trust that we too will find encouragement whenever we need it along the way.
-Written in the most loving memory of my dad, who will forever remain in my heart, mind and prayers until we meet again, (and happy birthday Daddy) love Munje.
